Becoming Fearless
Welcome to Becoming Fearless, the personal growth podcast for YOU if you are ready to overcome fear and step into your greatness.
Our purpose is to help you overcome your limits and have loads of fun along the way, unlocking your fullest potential in life, business, health and relationships every single day.
I'm your host Charlotte Carter, a high performance coach and entrepreneur, with over 20 years experience. I've supported many highly driven talented people like you who dream big and are ready to take action to overcome what’s holding them back.
Each week my guests and I will be sharing hacks and habits on how to build self belief, courage and confidence to master your mindset and navigate your emotions - so that you reach your human potential in a way that feels light, fun and easeful and help you become fearless.
Let’s go!
Becoming Fearless
15. The All Or Nothing Mindset
In this episode I delve into the 'all or nothing' mindset, talking about escaping the trap of extremes and discovering the power of balance to be able to achieve your true potential.
If you've ever found yourself enthusiastically starting projects only to falter before the finish line, this episode is your call to action. Learn how to shed the fears and self-imposed limits that sabotage success in entrepreneurship, and gain insights to fuel your journey towards becoming the high achiever you're destined to be.
Today, we're not just discussing problems; we’re equipping you with solutions. You’ll gain practical advice and strategies to master your mindset, channel emotions positively, and build unwavering self-belief, courage, and confidence. Join me as I share real-life stories of transition from corporate to entrepreneurial life, and how to navigate the nuanced challenges that come with this shift. Whether you're in the thick of entrepreneurship or considering taking the leap, this episode is tailored to help you complete your metaphorical race, cross the finish line, and embrace the essence of living fearlessly.
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Welcome to Becoming Fearless, the personal growth podcast for you if you are ready to overcome fear and step into your greatness. Our purpose is to help you overcome your limits, have loads of fun along the way, unlocking your fullest potential in life, business, health and relationships every single day. I'm your host, charlotte Carter, a high performance coach and entrepreneur with over 20 years experience. I'm your host, charlotte Carter, a high-performance coach and entrepreneur with over 20 years experience. I've supported many highly driven, talented people like you who dream big and are ready to take action to overcome what's holding them back. Each week, my guests and I will be sharing hacks and habits on how to build self-belief, courage and confidence, to master your mindset and navigate your emotions so that you can reach your human potential in a way that feels light, fun and easeful and helps you become fearless. Let's go.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Becoming Fearless. I am really excited to bring you this solo episode. It's a popular one. It's something that I've seen in a number of high performers In particular. To be honest, I've seen it in many clients that have come to the entrepreneurial space from the corporate world, where they are still in a little bit of the corporate mold or the corporate energy or the corporate way of living. This is what shows up for them the most. In my experience, and it's something that I remember, when I first heard about this for myself, I was like, oh, it was like the massive penny drop. I can remember it as clear as anything. I first heard about it on a podcast actually, and I was in the kitchen I was ironing away and I was like I need to just listen to that bit about the podcast again. I need to just listen to that bit about the podcast again because they are talking about this topic, the all or nothing mindset. I've got hiccups now, which is interesting Big energy shift.
Speaker 1:The all or nothing mindset is a really, really popular one. It's a common one. It's a little bit of a badge of honor one, if I'm honest, and for me personally it was like, yeah, I've got the all or nothing mindset. Yeah, that's because I'm like this. The all or nothing mindset happens in my life and it was like a badge of honor, like an acceptance piece. I was okay, I've done that because I have this all or nothing mindset.
Speaker 1:Let me talk you through what the all or nothing mindset looks like, feels like, behaves like for you. So I like to describe it to my clients as the hundred meter race. If you want to be a speed racer and you want to get a great time on 100 meters, you're going to do hours of practice. You can do hours of practice setting off, practicing your starting, practicing your first. You know 25 meters, the middle bit, and you're going to practice the end. You're going to do hours and hours and hours, a huge amount of training before you've even got to that track. Loads of it and you're all or nothing. So you're all in, the training's gone, great, you're at the track. Everything feels fabulous, metaphorical track in terms of entrepreneurship, and the goal is to go as fast as you can and cross the line.
Speaker 1:What happens with the all or nothing mindset is they get on the starting block. They're feeling good, they've got all intention to finish. They start off, they're halfway, their mind starts to drift, they couldn't possibly finish and they go off track at about 90 minutes. They don't actually finish the race In entrepreneur land. They don't actually finish the task, they don't complete the project, they don't actually go all out in the launch. They go all out and then they come back in. They do what I call a hokey-cokey around the all or nothing mindset, because fear kicks in. Who will I be when I'm the winner of the race? Who will I be when I've actually done everything possible and then maybe people haven't bought or people haven't showed up? Who will I be then? How will I hold myself? What will happen? And so, instead of actually completing it and looking at the data and going, do you know what? I did my best and this is what happened, and I'm going to learn from that and I'm going to take note. For some of us, we hide at this 90 minutes, we veer off track, we go and get another coach, we go and buy another program, we go and do something completely different, we bring something completely different out, we rewrite our stuff.
Speaker 1:I have been doing this aspect early on in my business For the first couple of years, doing this aspect early on in my business for the first couple of years. I was in this all or nothing, 100%, because I was testing, trying, testing, trying. That's what I was hiding behind. Before I had this big smack around the face where it's like, oh okay, because I started to see it in different areas of my life. I started to see it with my fitness. I started to see it with my fitness. I started to see it with my relationship with food. I started to see it with my relationship with drinking water. I started to see it with my relationship with sleep. I started to see it with my relationship with my friends. All of these patterns I started to see were part of this all or nothing mindset.
Speaker 1:Now, so ideally we want to find and the outcome that I talk with people about if they experience this kind of part of their personality or how their mindset works or their behaviors. We want to work out what the outcome is and the outcome for this particular element of fear really is. We want to find your rhythm of life. We want to find your ease and flow. We want to find what works for you.
Speaker 1:If you are somebody that's really fast off the blocks but really you want to not you've nailed it by 50 meters we find you a 45 meter race so that you can make it past the finish line. Who knows if there's even a 45 meter race, but you know what I mean. I'm sure we find you something that you can do where you're in your element, you are energized, you feel alive, you're totally in your strengths and you can nail it on some. We don't put you as a 45 minute meter finalist. In a hundred meter, you're meters, you're not going to do it, you're going to burn out, you're going to go off track. So what we want to find is your rhythm of life. So for some people in this 100-meter race, they will nail it. Their rhythm of life may well be like 120 meters. That might be their rhythm of life. They might feel great. That's then when they kind of like then want a little bit of contraction, they want to be able to have a break. They feel like they are, want to be able to stabilize themselves and then they can go again. It's the exact same in entrepreneurship.
Speaker 1:We want to find where your all or nothing mindset really sits. What's the pieces for you? Where do you feel for you? Where do you feel the most energized? Where do you feel the most alive? What brings you the most joy? What are you seriously, seriously talented at? What do you have all these skills at? And what's the duration, what's the time, what's the space, what's the period that you know you feel so alive with you, know you feel so alive with you, know you feel on fire with you, know that you feel absolutely at your best of your ability, and that's where we create your version of the all or nothing mindset.
Speaker 1:It's also, energetically, a lot to do with holding energy. If you experience the all or nothing mindset in various aspects of your life, it's like you go all in and you're like, hey, I'm totally all in, I'm putting all of myself in this, I'm really going for it. And then you've peed around. It's because you can't at this stage hold what it is that you want to go all in for, for two reasons One, you've gone all in and it's like too full on for you and it's just going to lead to burnout. There's no way you can hold it. It's not even sustainable for anyone. Or two, you've gone all in in a way that feels good, but you haven't built your energetic capacity to hold it. You haven't built your energetic capacity to hold it in a way that feels good for you. So you then give it up. You then self-sabotage it. You then, you know, retreat. You then step into this whole vulnerability hangover. You then withdraw, you then pull back and then you feel like a shadow of your former self because you were that person that went all in.
Speaker 1:So the invitation on this is to really think about. Firstly, do you identify at this present moment with the all or nothing mindset? If you do, great, if you don't great, they're both wins, they're both awareness pieces. You do great, if you don't great, they're both wins, they're both awareness pieces. If you do, then think about where you are in this race. What is it that you know energizes you in life? What brings you all of the joy, all of the happiness, all of the possibilities and so much more? What allows you to be in that space of possibilities that are limitless? And when do you feel like you're? Excitement is within. When do you feel like you are, like? You know what this feels, so, so good. I feel so alive doing this. I feel like I am living my purpose, my calling. I feel like I am on top of the world. I could do this all the time. What's the rhythm of life that goes around that? What are the products that you sell? What are the bits in your business? What are the things in your life you do that support and shape and nurture that inner fire within you that we all have, what I would call your inner brilliance. How do you get that to shine in your rhythm of life. So lots of things to think about.
Speaker 1:If you know that you are in that mindset of the all or nothing mindset, let me tell you a little bit of a story about what happens with me in the all or nothing mindset and something that I've navigated. So for me it shows up a lot in fitness. If I have something booked, something to train for, I can go all in. I've got that goal. It's there. I can get myself really, really focused on it. Now, when there's nothing to book, I still want to have that drive, I still want to have that focus, but I don't seem to have had my rhythm as well. I don't seem to have it sustained. It's not nailed in any way, shape or form, it's more sporadic. So it's finding your rhythm of life, something that works for you in all the areas of your life, and finding this all or nothing mindset.
Speaker 1:So when you say you're going all in, going all in say, for example, is training three times a week, five times a week or whatever it is that you're focusing on and then sustaining it. So it's now a subconscious habit, something that you know that you do. That's part of your high performance, part of your wellbeing, part of your healthy lifestyle. And then you'll start to see how the all-or-nothing mindset you've got it under control, because you're not here to suddenly go from nought to run an ultra marathon. You're here to train three times a week. You're here to focus on that training and make it the best that you can in that time you have. You're here to embody the training. You're here to embrace the training. You're here to embrace the training. You're here to make the training non-negotiable.
Speaker 1:And from those habits and from those core routines and those parts of you that have nailed them, you start to disband the all or nothing mindset because you've shown yourself you can have everything you desire in all the guises, once you have broken it down into how it actually looks, feels, fits, into your life, in your rhythm of life. It's an exciting topic, something that I have worked through many, many times. It's something that comes up as I up-level, as I bring the team on, as I change the focus, all of those kind of things. It's something that really energizes me to reflect on each month, to tune into, to understand and to learn from. So I really invite you to think about it.
Speaker 1:If it's something that comes up for you and, as always, I would love to hear your thoughts on either Instagram or via email. I would love to know whether this episode lands with you, whether it resonates, and if there's any questions that you have, I can do a deeper dive for you on this topic too, so take care. Final question also is always what fear do you think is hiding underneath the all or nothing mindset? I would love, love, love to know. For me, it was always, always a fear of success, but if I go all in and I stay all in and then it works, who will I be then? What will I? Who will I need to be? How will I need to show up? What is my identity? Who will I become? All of those things and ultimately, what you do because it's what I've done is you end up becoming fearless. You're going to become that woman, that person, that force of nature, that personality that you were born to be. You're going to remember who you are and what you're here to do, and you're just going to do exactly that. So take care and tune into the next episode and I will see you then.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning into this week's episode. I hope that you're feeling energized, fearless and inspired to take action today to stand in your greatness. I share even more tools and resources on my I Dare to Lead email newsletter. By signing up, you not only get early access to the I Dare to Lead products and services, but you also get brand new podcast episodes delivered straight to your inbox every Monday, meaning you'll never miss your weekly dose of becoming fearless energy. Sign up now at wwwidaretoleapcom. Forward slash newsletter or click the link in the show notes below.
