Becoming Fearless
Welcome to Becoming Fearless, the personal growth podcast for YOU if you are ready to overcome fear and step into your greatness.
Our purpose is to help you overcome your limits and have loads of fun along the way, unlocking your fullest potential in life, business, health and relationships every single day.
I'm your host Charlotte Carter, a high performance coach and entrepreneur, with over 20 years experience. I've supported many highly driven talented people like you who dream big and are ready to take action to overcome what’s holding them back.
Each week my guests and I will be sharing hacks and habits on how to build self belief, courage and confidence to master your mindset and navigate your emotions - so that you reach your human potential in a way that feels light, fun and easeful and help you become fearless.
Let’s go!
Becoming Fearless
19. What Have I Made It Mean About Me? - The Energy Of Detachment
Sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail. It's the stories we tell ourselves about those successes and failures though - what we make them mean about ourselves - that truly matter.
It's so important to practice detachment and groundedness with these experiences. This will allow you to navigate your fear and resistance.
There's an exhilarating freedom in aligning with our true potential and finding the courage to live fearlessly.
This episode is a heartfelt invitation to discover your own brilliance, embrace the wisdom in disappointments, tap into your inner knowing and embrace your curiosity.
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Welcome to Becoming Fearless, the personal growth podcast for you if you are ready to overcome fear and step into your greatness. Our purpose is to help you overcome your limits, have loads of fun along the way, unlocking your fullest potential in life, business, health and relationships every single day. I'm your host, charlotte Carter, a high performance coach and entrepreneur with over 20 years experience. I'm your host, charlotte Carter, a high-performance coach and entrepreneur with over 20 years experience. I've supported many highly driven, talented people like you who dream big and are ready to take action to overcome what's holding them back. Each week, my guests and I will be sharing hacks and habits on how to build self-belief, courage and confidence, to master your mindset and navigate your emotions so that you can reach your human potential in a way that feels light, fun and easeful and helps you become fearless. Let's go. Hey, and welcome to another episode of Becoming Fearless. I am excited. I hope you are good. I hope you are ready.
Speaker 1:This is a solo episode that I have called what have I Made it Mean About Me? What have I Made it Mean About Me? We are going in deep, we are going in strong and we are on a journey for the next 20 minutes, me in your ears and you listening, integrating and absorbing and seeing where your energy takes you. So I have had many, many opportunities where I have set a goal, set a very strong intention and sailed past it. I have also had lots of goals and intentions where I have set them strong, where I've been half in, where I've been hokey-cokey, where I've self-sabotaged and not got anywhere near it, and in each of those cases I've always asked myself the question what have I made it mean about me? So let's go with the successful events that have happened in my life and I want you to sit or stand or walk or dance, or whatever it is that you're doing as you're listening, and think about this question for yourself. Think about a moment in time when you felt the most successful you have ever, ever been in your whole life, and I want you to ground yourself. I want you to allow yourself to feel that experience and allow yourself to remember what it meant for you at that time. So, on the Becoming Fearless opening podcast, I talk very much about my whole dry robe story. I want to talk today about the whole journey, with the obstacle courses and the physicality of my energy and the intentions and challenges that I've set. So when I think about that question, what's been really successful? There's been many, many things.
Speaker 1:But I remember when I was doing the rat race for those of you that are new to the whole obstacle scene, the rat race has many versions and it is a or it was it was not running at the moment a 200 obstacle race that was the length of 20 miles. It's not the kind of thing you can just rock up for. You have to train. You have to be really intentional about how you train every single muscle in your body to be able to navigate the course and navigate your intention to finish. And there's many, many people doing it and there's quite an atmosphere and it's absolutely great fun if that's what floats your boat. So I remember signing up for it, being absolutely petrified on one level and equally fiercely excited on another. And I can remember thinking to myself do you know what? I have an in and out finish. That's never in any doubt, in and out finish.
Speaker 1:There's a piece of me that always has this same challenge with the obstacles and that's because I have a real strong fear of heights. I have a real strong fear of getting to the top of an obstacle and actually falling off it, looking down and losing my grip and falling flat on my face, and it's never stopped me entering any of the obstacles and in some ways, the higher the obstacles the better, because it's all about for me conquering that mind, body, reaction to something that you may be petrified or really scareful of, and it being a part of your physicality and your inner stories about yourself. And the emotions obviously come in for a bit. So I remember going on that ride we had set off, I was feeling the strongest, feeling super successful, and there were many, many, many high obstacles and I was just sailing over them. I was in the energy of success. I was in the energy of a high achiever. I was in the energy of being a rat race finisher. I was in the energy of a high achiever. I was in the energy of being a rat race finisher. I was in the energy of like, this is going to be so much fun and I am going to love the journey of getting around this course.
Speaker 1:So when I asked myself that question, when did I feel really true success? It was me navigating that course, me navigating the heights, me navigating all of the people, me navigating the adrenaline, me navigating the length, the duration, the physicality of the program, but also being able to stand in that space of I'm Charlotte Carter and I have completed a rat race. So what happens when I ask myself that question what have I made that mean about me? I've made it mean that I am dedicated, I am super focused, I am an action taker, I can commit to something and surpass it. I can really put my physicality through the paces if I know that that's what I really want to do and I can enjoy the process. That that's what I really want to do and I can enjoy the process. That's one of my greatest moments success, where I was able to notice, own and embrace the journey of that particular event. So that's what happened for a successful one.
Speaker 1:Now let yourself, as you've thought about your successful version, let yourself think about those moments where it's gone to absolute crumbles. Either you've put something out to launch, nobody has bought it. You have been in that space of really wanting to nail a certain aspect and it's just either not get out there, you can't get out of your own way, something has been not quite right, and so you felt deflated, you felt frustrated, you felt absolutely like what am I doing here? The fear has crept in in a very different level and I invite you to think about that moment or moments. Let's get real. But think about that moment or moments and whichever one comes to mind, sit with and tune in to. What did you make it mean about you? What did you make it mean about you? So this one for some people I'll be like, oh my goodness, I've got all of these things, because my mind whirs over them, because I still overthink them, because I'm still searching for what went on. Why was I in that space? And there are been many, many, many aspects of this for me, but I want to talk to you about one, and that's related to fear of visibility and related to my not good enough thread.
Speaker 1:And this is when I was given an opportunity to be a collaboration in a book and it was all very exciting. I got swept up in all of the moment. Never, ever, thought I would be a writer at all, and if you read the book, you will read the story about all of that. But the story in its simplest form is that I was told at school I was not very good at English. I needed to get some support. It was never going to be something that I would ever ever claim. I needed to get a lot of help with it, and so I did. And then I embarked, like you do, on well, let's just become a published author. And so at the time, for me this collaboration was a great halfway house. It was a place where I could see if I wanted to bring out my own book, and in that moment I was like, yeah, let's do this.
Speaker 1:So the process went on and the deadline came, and I was very much a deadline dancer in those days and I was like, oh, it's okay, I'll do it the day that they need it. They need it the next day, I'll do it the day before, which is exactly what I did. I wrote my whole chapter the day before, sent it to the person that was doing the next part of the whole process. They said it's great, and that was it. Before I knew it, we were talking about the whole book launch. The book launch came out about the whole book launch. The book launch came out, went to number one in Amazon in various categories, really successful.
Speaker 1:I was cheerleading on all of the other authors and then I never told a soul. I never talked about it in my business. I barely brought myself enough courage to tell any of my friends and the whole fear of visibility, judgment, rejection, self-worth, multiple layers came out and I went and hid and what I'd made it mean about me was well, yeah, you've been able to get this number one Amazon bestseller as a collaboration book, but there's no way you'd be able to do it as a solo, as a book of your own. So what kind of game are you playing out there? What's going on for you really? So it's just better if you go back and shrink now and hide your potential and go back into that space and fear took the driving seat. I'd made it mean about me that I'd pushed myself. I was very lucky to be able to have that chance. It only got to number one because of everybody else in the book. Nobody's really going to read my chapter, etc. Etc. Etc, etc. I'd made it mean about me that I only got there because of other people. I'd given my power away to other people. Now, as I stand here now and the book is in the making and I am beyond excited about all of that, I own all of that power and some, and I'm excited to bring that into the world. I'm excited to share it with you when the time is right.
Speaker 1:So think about that moment for yourself, or moments where there has been something where you know for a fact. You have put yourself out into the world in a version of you that was available at the time. It's either gone very, very well or it's not gone so well and you have shrunk back, you have paused your potential, you have stepped back, you have hidden, and what did you make it mean about you? So this leads me into what happens when you can creategetically and you're not in a space of need, scarcity or want. You are in a space of need, scarcity or want. You are in a space of neutrality. You're in a space of owning your desires, your potentiality, your limitlessness, but you're neutral in your approach. What happens in that in terms of fear, is your resistance is super minimum, if not really showing up. It's just not there. You can take it or leave it, kind of energy. Well, let's just see.
Speaker 1:One of the partners that goes with the power of the detachment energy is the curiosity and anticipation energy which I just love to hang out in this is all about. Well, let's just see. I wonder what will happen. It's going to be exciting to see what happens next's going to jump on board. What will people think? Let's get in the energy of anticipation, curiosity and everything going as well as it positively can, in a positive psychology kind of scientific way, as well as in a energetic, spiritual kind of way.
Speaker 1:So I want you to finally think about an example where you know in your heart, in your gut, in your intuition, in your knowing, in your presence, in your power, in your energy, whatever resonates with you. You're like I just know that this is going to be what I'm meant to be doing. I just know this is going to be the next step on my journey. I trust myself 100%, completely, without any hesitation. And let's sit with a scenario that you've had that has been like that. Or, if you can't think of a scenario, what's a scenario that you would like to co-create in the future that would be like that? So let me tell you about my example. It's this whole podcast. So the Becoming Fearless podcast was launched into the world eight weeks ago, as I'm recording this episode for you. So eight weeks ago, just over 50 days ago, this podcast was launched to the masses with the whole Becoming Fearless number one episode where I talk about my dry and on that day I had an inner knowing.
Speaker 1:This is my platform for certain. I love it, I adore it. I can bring all of the high energy and all of the high vibes and all of that energy boost work. I can bring the groundedness work. I can bring the groundedness. I can bring the stability and I can bring a million and one variations in between. But more than that, I can bring all of the guests. I can bring all of my connections. I can bring the ripple effect. I can bring the repetitive nature of habits. People can keep listening and listening. I can bring the links to the other ways that people can absorb information. I can then get more and more opportunities to share what I feel so, so passionate about and what I feel I am here for.
Speaker 1:So when it came to getting the podcast out, I had this idea three years ago, a bit similar to the time with the book, and I was like, oh, I'm going to do the podcast. Oh, no, I'm not. I can't be that person that does too many things. I will be too much. So the podcast sat in a space in what I would call the car park of life. It will be ready to be collected, to be like driven at some stage. And when that came to fruition and everything was done, all the prep was done, and I was like navigating my own fear emotionally, spiritual, mentally, physically.
Speaker 1:As it came closer to the date, there was this innate knowing that this is what I'm born to do. There wasn't anything other than that. There wasn't anything other than that. So when I invited myself to ask myself that question, what are you making it mean about you? My answer was I'm living my purpose. I'm creating the ripple effect that I'm here to do. I'm educating the masses, I'm building the empire. I am living in my true potentiality in this way of sharing various parts of how I work with people and how I work with the mind, the body and the heart and all of those things.
Speaker 1:And so everything within the podcast has felt mega easy. It has felt delightful, it has felt abundance, it has felt like cherished, it has felt like I am flourishing. I nurture it, I enjoy it. I get out of bed going, oh, my goodness, I've got a podcast episode today. I love sharing it, I love looking at all of the parts about it. I get out of bed going oh, my goodness, I've got a podcast episode today. I love sharing it, I love looking at all of the parts about it.
Speaker 1:So what's happened is there is no resistance, there is no judgment and there's no detachment as to where this podcast goes. I only sit in the energy of delivering, standing true to myself, standing strong in my power and groundedness, and then receiving all of the information that I have around me to create all of the next things. So I want you to think for yourself about that kind of version and what happens when you're in that space, whether it's in your business, whether you want to do changes in your relationships, whether you want to look at your health and well-being, your physicality, whether you want to understand your emotional resilience, your grit, your determination, whether you want to find that drive, that momentum, that habit, stacking potential within yourself, whether you want to create more and more space, more and more capacity, whatever it is for you, this detachment, energy and grounded energy, coupled with your inner knowing, is your sweet spot of magnetism. So when we launched Becoming Fearless podcast, it's like let's just see. I am curious, I'm excited, I can't wait.
Speaker 1:In my head I live in a town in Suffolk and in my head it's like well, maybe some people in Suffolk will listen. I hadn't allowed myself any energy at all to go. I wonder if it's going to go here. I wonder if it's going to go there. I just had stayed neutral until day one. It came to day one and it was suddenly in these countries, and, and then more countries, and then more countries. And what happened within myself? What did I make it mean about me was the world wants to hear it.
Speaker 1:People want to hear all of the conversations with your fabulous guests, all of the nuggets of information that you share on your solar episodes. They want to come together in the community, they want to share these spaces together and they want to understand how they can navigate, how fear plays up in them in their life, whether it's on a mental, a physical, emotional or a spiritual level. Emotional or a spiritual level, energetically. We are all here for it all. So now I stand in the space of all of those things that I've learned in life and I stand in this space eight weeks on going. Do you know what we are creating? The ripple effect of education, advice, inspiration, connection, performance, reality checks, identity pieces, all held with an energetic delivery, with an energetic delivery. So I want you to think about that for yourself. And as I stand here going, do you know what? The podcast has now hit 21 countries. We are fully global. We have people reaching out to come on as guests.
Speaker 1:I am putting it out to the universe about all of the people that I would love to have on as guests and all of their remarkable stories of life and understanding how they have everything within them and how they can navigate, how to unleash that while they are managing harmonious relationships within their life. So understanding that piece for yourself. Where are those successes, those high performance habits, those real parts of your life? Where you go? This feels so easy. I have this inner knowing. I have this real zest, this real courage, this real bravery. It's like this is where I am meant to be. This is like my playground. This is who I am. This is where I can really shine in all of my brilliance, in all of the versions of me, in every part of myself that I am here to bring to this world to live a deeply fulfilling and satisfying life. And then add on the extra piece around it being easeful, around it being spacious, around it being expansive, around it being whole around it, being all of those things that you value.
Speaker 1:A moment, please, today, to think about those three different opportunities as moments in your life or things that you can let your imagination co-create with you, where there has been something that has been brilliant for you on some level, something that has been like what you would call a failure for some people, or a real disappointment, or you feel like really annoyed with yourself, something that's not gone well at all on multiple levels, and then something that has been an inner knowing where you're like I just knew this was going to be like this and it totally is and understand that each and every one of those journeys brings you closer to living a life where more and more and more and more of it is in the inner knowing space. It's available to everyone. Absolutely everyone can live, breathe, embody this on multiple levels, and when you can open up and give yourself permission and step forward, I dare to leaps what the business is called. Allow yourself to be supported and receive inner guidance in however which way you are ready to, capable to and able to at this moment in time where you're listening, then be curious, be anticipatory, be in the energy of excitement. I wonder what's going to happen. Be in the energy of wonderment. And, on that note, I'm sending love to each and every one of you.
Speaker 1:If you are listening to this podcast and you are thinking I love all of this, I'm thinking about these places, but actually I've got some more questions. Please come into the Becoming Fearless community. I've built it for you, I've built it for my listeners. I've built it for the people who know that there are some mindset pieces. There are some energy pieces. There are some mindset pieces. There are some energy pieces. There are some habitual pieces. There are some stories they want to ditch. There are some brilliance pieces they want to own. There is some power that they want to claim back, whatever it is, on multiple levels. Come into the community.
Speaker 1:The link is in the show notes. I would love to see you there. I'm in there every week and I want to encourage you to share, shine, absorb, stand strongly in your brilliance, your purpose, your performance and everything like that, and so I would love to see you there. So take care, huge love to you and I will listen and see you on the next episode. Thank you for tuning into this week's episode. I hope that you're feeling energized, fearless and inspired to take action today to stand in your greatness. I share even more tools and resources on my I Dare to Leap email newsletter. By signing up, you not only get early access to the I dare to leap products and services, but you also get brand new podcast episodes delivered straight to your inbox every monday, meaning you'll never miss your weekly dose of becoming fearless energy. Sign up now at wwwidaretoleapcom. Forward slash newsletter or click the link in the show notes below.
