101. Six Things I Gave Up That I Didn't Even Know I Had

Six years ago to the day, 31st March 2020 - I backed myself and went all in. What I didn't know was that the biggest things I'd give up weren't the ones I could see coming.

In this episode, I'm sharing the six things I gave up that I didn't even know I had - from the hidden thread of "not good enough" running beneath my success, to the relationships that quietly fell away, to the energy loops I didn't even know were draining me.

This one is personal, honest, and full circle.

If something is keeping you stuck, this episode is for you.

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Transcript

Giving Up The Energy Of Waiting

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I gave up the energy of waiting, waiting to be ready, analyzing everything, stopping myself. The people that are there that I speak to, they're waiting. They're waiting for courage. They're waiting for confidence. They're waiting for the right time that never happens. And that is never gonna happen. You are never gonna go, oh, today's the day I'm ready. You have to unlock the energy of courage. You have to unlock the energy of belief. You have to unlock the energy of wonder and awe and possibilities, and you have to play in the field of possibilities. That's where it all happens. The six things I gave up that I didn't even know I had over the last six years. So let's go straight in. It is a juicy one, and I'd love to know what resonates with you. So the first thing that came up when I set myself up in business, I was all guns blazing. This was it. It was my knowing, it was my certainty. I'm back in myself. This is what I'm here for. This is everything. And it was very, very quickly that it came to me the threat of I'm not good enough. Everything went so well in the first year. Everything was flying. And then I put some stuff out and it didn't sell. Or I thought some people were going to come in and work with me and they didn't. And so that small piece of doubt got big and bigger. And I ended up hearing about this not good enough thread. And I was like, what even is that? Now I know I'm good enough. And I remember pursuing it and finding statistics on it. 87% of female entrepreneurs have this thread not good enough. They only necessarily find it when they set up a business. This was fascinating. I went down a right rabbit hole with this, and I helped a lot of people with this. But it's something that I gave up that I didn't know I had. This fear of not being good enough. I know 100% now I'm limitless. Absolutely limitless. Second one. The second thing that I gave up that I didn't know I was going to. So this is relationships and friendships and dynamics. I didn't know six years ago that I'd be in rooms with people where they wouldn't really understand what I did. They wouldn't really get the whole entrepreneurship, first of all. Then they wouldn't really get what it's like when you work different hours. Then they wouldn't really understand what it was when I said I was mindset. They definitely don't understand when I talk about energetics. And so people started to fall out of my life. They didn't vibrate at the same level as me. And this was a massive thing that I gave up, a massive thing that I gave up. Different relationships with different people in business, in life, in personal, because of this choice of setting the business on. And I didn't know that was going to happen. I just thought everybody would really be a big cheerleader, just like when you change a job in a normal nine to five setting. But no, it was not like that at all. And it's something that I didn't know it was going to happen. Navigating this piece, and again, it's possibly the biggest piece that I work with clients on, the relationship dynamics of you with people that don't like the fact that you're changing. They don't like the fact that you're different. They don't like the fact that you talk about things that they don't want to talk about. They don't like the fact that you're always excited about what you're doing at work. They don't like lots of things. And as you go into personal growth, you understand that that's projection, that's people's own stuff, and it's always leads with love first. But I remember when I first was in this dynamic as an entrepreneur, as the CEO, was that I am here building this empire. Oh, I didn't realise I was going to have that sad episode, and I didn't realise that was gonna go, and I didn't realise that piece. That was the second one. They changed, evolved, and some I lost. Which moves me on to the third one. This is so fascinating, and I find this really interesting. And I'd love to know if you are in this space too. So there's a version of me pre-being a CEO that went to the gym all the time, that was forever working out, that did loads and loads of races, um, that had lots and lots of fun doing lots of exercise. And somewhere along the line, I started this business and all the fun was in the business. I was like, okay, all the fun's in the business. I still did a little bit of movement, but it went right to the bottom. And what uncovered that I had to give up at this part was I started to not really value or love myself or my body, just a touch, not in a massive way, but just in a, oh, it doesn't matter, I'll eat that, oh it doesn't matter, I'll drink that, oh it doesn't matter, I've not moved today, oh that doesn't matter. Oh, I don't really, it doesn't really matter what I look like. And I was in this peace around loving myself completely and wholly and everything that I am. And I remember, and if you go back to the first episode, Becoming Fearless, you'll hear all about my journey about getting the podcast out. So that's four years in. And you'll hear about not good enough, and you'll hear about loving yourself, and you'll hear about worth and value. And so that's what I gave up. I gave up any element of lacking love in myself, or any element, any element of low self-worth, or any element of not valuing myself. I gave all of that up, and I didn't know that that's what I had. I didn't know that that's what I had. This is what I find so fascinating. I didn't know that. So we had not good enough and relationships, and we've had this whole love worth valuing myself. The next three are where I really step into my real self. So when I set the business up, everything went really well, and then I navigated some pieces as all businesses do, and everything's gone really well in a completely different way. Because I had to give up a dysregulated nervous system. Oof. I had to give up a dysregulated nervous system. I didn't even know what that was. Six years ago, I was like, yeah, I know I've got a degree in health, I know I've got um all sorts of qualifications. But when I did my personal training and when I did my breath work, I was like, oh, okay, I might need to get a handle on that. I might need to look at my regulation of myself rather than being in hyper adrenaline all of the time and everything fueling me and everything having to be an excitable state and everything being so full on. So I had to give up being on the go. And I never knew that that's what I was like. I just thought that that was who I was, but I didn't know it was affecting my health. I didn't know it was from a fight or flight place. I didn't know it was from proving, I didn't know it was from seeking external validation, gonna do more, gotta do more, gotta do more. I never knew that. When I learnt it, boom. So much changed. So much changed. So we've had gave up on the not good enough, gave up on holding on to relationships that didn't serve me, gave up on the not loving myself or valuing myself, gave up on being dysregulated. So then we get into the real things, the uniqueness. As I grew over the six years, for those of you that are new, this might be the first episode you've learned, uh you've listened to. I started off as a mindset coach, moved to a high performance coach, trained as a personal trainer, trained as a breathwork facilitator, trained in energy healing, a master energy healing, and brought in energetics, brought out my own certification and worked globally with people on all of these things and more. And along that journey, I went to the depths of every part of that journey, the depths of my soul, the depths of myself, the depths of my identity to really realize who I was. And this is the biggest thing, I think this is the biggest thing I gave upon and didn't know I had. And that was shrinking myself to fit in. This is slightly different to people pleasing. People pleasing is when you do things for others and put others above yourself. Shrinking yourself to fit in. I found this when I went in masterminds. I went in business masterminds, I went in multiple business masterminds, and they serve me incredibly. I am incredibly grateful for every single one of them. But what they gave me that I didn't know I had, and what I had to give up, was the shrinking to fit in. I would shrink myself on the calls to fit in with the other people on the calls. I would shrink myself in person so that other people would be able to handle my energy or my essence. I would shrink myself in conversations so that the other people got what they needed. I didn't know I had that until I got into those spaces. And it's so, so grateful, incredibly grateful that I can give that up. And I gave that up with so much love and joy and incredible appreciation and connections and support and love. So the final one, the final one of the six things I gave up that I didn't even know I had. And this one is a recent one. This one happened in the last 12 to 18 months, I'd say. Where I was changing, evolving, the business was changing, my personal life was changing, loads of things were happening. I was getting back on incredible fitness and joy. Uh, I was moving through menopause in a way that now I feel incredible. I was releasing old energy loops that were draining my energy. Draining my energy. I was closing them and closing them and closing them so that I could be free. I could be light, I could be alive, I could be fulfilled. And that has been phenomenal. And this is why I gave up, and it's a full circle moment. I gave up the energy of waiting. Waiting to be ready, analysing everything, stopping myself. And it's a full circle moment because the company is called I Dare to Leave. I dare to leave. The people that are there that I speak to, they're waiting. They're waiting for courage. They're waiting for confidence, they're waiting for the right time that never happens. They're waiting for more money, more success, more support. They're waiting for a version of themselves that is ready. And that is never gonna happen. You are never gonna go, oh, today's the day I'm ready. You have to unlock the energy of courage. You have to unlock the energy of belief. You have to unlock the energy of wonder and awe and possibilities, and you have to play in the field of possibilities. You have to be in that space of incredible opportunity and joy and happiness and everything like that. That's where it all happens. That is where it all happens, and that is where you make it happen. So that's what this episode was all about. Six years ago, I backed myself. Six years ago, I never knew what was coming. I have worked with incredible people all over the world. This podcast is in 70 countries, 70 different countries, over five hundred and sixty different cities and towns. This podcast is a love of mine, a real love of mine, and what I have achieved in these six years, I never would have thought was possible. The people that I've met, the people that I've worked with, the clients that I've had, the phenomenal stories and change and transformation they've had, it is it it just takes my breath away and it warms my heart. And I'm here for anyone, absolutely anyone, who's here to change their life, to transform something that they want to do in their life and take action on it, and to close the energy loops that are stopping them, that are keeping them, that are keeping them locked in their limits, really, but they're keeping them stuck, stagnant from the freedom, from the joy, from the happiness, from the possibilities, from the fulfillment from all of that. I never knew I'd work with millionaires, multimillionaires. I never knew I'd be having dinner with a billionaire. I never knew I'd fly to all these different places to experience different things. I never knew I'd be holding my sixth retreat. I never knew I'd hold masterminds, memberships, workshops, challenges, innovations. I never knew I'd get into the energetic space that I'm in now. I never knew I could manifest clients with ease. I never knew all of this stuff. And if I hadn't have backed myself six years ago and said, this is it, it's time. Tomorrow's never guaranteed. This is it. I'm going, I'm going in, I wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't be helping the incredible amount of people that I do and the incredible souls that I'm here to serve. So so much gratitude, so much appreciation, so much love to every single one of you that takes time that allows me to share with you and with my guests everything that is around the energy of success. And remember, you are limitless where there is a minimalism.